i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
