Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize