its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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