Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
