Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
