bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
