Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
