Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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