coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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