Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
