I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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