you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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