I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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