He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
