it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
