i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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