we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
