yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize