now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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