in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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