Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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