if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
