just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
