So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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