some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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