come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
