i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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