if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
