K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
