take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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