I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
