I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She's the barista slut.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
