You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
