Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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