hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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