I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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