Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
