sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
