Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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