Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
