I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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