That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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