I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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