Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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