You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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