He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
