dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
