How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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