Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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