idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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