that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
