Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
