Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
