Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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