I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize