if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.