I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
