Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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