Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize