i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
