the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He shit in the fireplace
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
