I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
