you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize