Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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