so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
