Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Boobs are out for the taking
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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