he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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