Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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