Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
