Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
